Endless Night
by jennjenn-chan
Summary: Allen tries all he can to escape Nea's torment. Sometimes it's not so easy. Read and Review, first time post on FFN!


Endless Night

_I can wait forever for you, because I know you'll fail. You'll be crushed under the weight of your utter failures. You are nothing but the glimpse of a memory salvaged from my brother's head. He isn't in your head, you are in his. _

Allen tossed as the seductive yet menacing voice whispered poison into his ears. It was always the same. He would try and get some rest after long days spent going off on missions, and Howard Link tailing him; but his _own _salvation was never granted to him. You'd think he would after delivering it to so many others but fate however had never been fair for this young man.

Every night for the past three months Allen had been struggling to find even a wink of sleep. It all began with the normally silent, smiling essence of the 14th becoming more "chatty" with him. The night had become his favourite time to visit his host, the time when Allen was most vulnerable. It was the time where Nea knew he could get what he was looking for.

Nea was never physically there with Allen, or at least, he didn't think he was. Nea was just in his mind, a fact he had made a habit of repeating to himself whenever the omniscient being decided to prey on his thoughts. It was hard to remember this was true and that this was the reality when Nea's desires involved Allen's willingness to "play along" with whatever the calm and dangerous man wanted. What Nea wanted only vexed Allen even more.

"I want to be beside you" was the only explanation Allen had ever received for why Nea continued to desire his contact. It was the only moment where Allen had seen something besides the cool aloofness and calculation within those deep dark eyes. There had been something…close to uncertainty. Perhaps nervousness? It was too brief a moment for Allen to tell….but he could have sworn he'd seen an emotion on Nea's face he might call regret, or grief.

As vexed as Allen was by this explanation he soon came to realize the full extent of what Nea's confession meant. The man was starved for contact and Allen was like a full course meal in his eyes. A body with which to hold and caress; to squeeze and reassure himself that his existence was real and he wasn't alone. Allen was a like a toy given to a lonely child to sleep with at night.

Allen didn't like feeling like a rag doll. He wasn't some souless object there for Nea's own wants. He was Allen Walker and no Noah or memory was going to take that away from him.

But….

If Allen tried to deny the 14th he would find ways to weaken his will with his words that were cunning and merciless. There wasn't any escape from what he could hear whispering in his ear no matter what he tried. It was a tricky and delicate situation….and Allen wasn't invincible.

Nea smirked to himself. He _knew_ Allen always pretended his words were not affecting him. He'd try to block out all of his whispers, but the 14th never let up until the dawn cracked the sky. He could tell with every wince and cringe and scrunching of the knees that he was indeed winning.

It wasn't that Allen wasn't fighting back against him. It was just that Allen found it became more and more of a struggle to deny the truth in the 14th's words. It would start out gentle somehow, as if he were trying to ease Allen into the verbal abuse, to accept it.

"_Allen….Allen….."_ he'd softly speak. "_You must be tired Allen. Why is that_?"

"…."

_" Is it because you're so overwhelmed saving Akuma?"_

"go away Nea"

_"Someone like you surely—" _

"I said go away Nea"

_" Or is it because you have to devout so much mental energy to resisting the urge to slaughter your friends?"_

"SHUT UP!" Allen's yelled. His hands were smothering his ears as his body lay on its side. He was scrunched into as small a ball as he could manage to protect himself, his soul, from the 14th.

"_You know….nothing really separates us…"_ Allen cringed, pulling his body even closer together. _"I can see everything you see. Feel all that you feel. Every sense of taste, touch, pleasure~"_

"GO AWAY!" Allen screamed, his voice cutting through the silent air of the Dark order. Not that Allen could hear as he was squeezing his ears, if not ripping them off. He just wanted rest, away from everything around him. That's all he wanted. He didn't ask for this. He just wanted….just wanted…..

The 14th had to suppress his grin from the enjoyment of knowing he was wearing him down. He always won in the end. His teethy grin stretched across that dark face as he knew that he would get what he wanted.

Allen was shaking. He just wanted this to end. *****No more! His eyes shone with tears as he opened them slowly.

"I give up" came allen's soft voice. Such a simple statement seemed strange coming from the brave young boy. However, experience always tells you when it's best to let others win and walk away to fight another day. This wasn't the person Allen was, but the 14th had changed him. Was slowly molding him into something more appealing and useful to the noah. Someone he could manipulate and eventually control with only his mind games.

Suddenly the world turned black. Allen wasn't shocked, this was always the price he had to pay. He _had _to do this, if only for a night of rest before his mind broke. His body and mind could only take so much wear, if he was at all human thought Allen grimly.

Allen had tried to ignore the 14th's voice the first time this had happened, but doing so had only resulted in sleepless nights and concerned questions from his friends. Whenever he did so he appeared slower than usual, he kept dropping things, not to mention the dark circles and lack of appetite.

Link never asked questions about it. Allen could tell he knew from the looks he sent him now and then. His discerning eyes were always there when he thought Allen was distracted. But Link never asked what was wrong with him - didn't even suggest that he take it easy. He never said a word; he just shoved his face in his notebook pretending to write feverously.

_"Allen~"_ the 14th's voice cooed cutting Allen off from his silent conflictions. Perhaps it wasn't so silent though….the 14th could hear everything Allen could after all.

"_That's right Allen_" chimed the 14ths voice in his ear as the melodious words crept closer.

"_I know exactly how he and everyone else in this wretched place cares so __little__ for you_" Allen didn't say anything, only stared down at the void ahead of him. Everything was pitch black. There wasn't anything, no path ahead of him.

"_But that's alright_" soothed the 14th, "_because I care_" and Allen felt the thin, elegant fingers grasp his head from behind as the physical form of Nea began to materialize. The fingers gently—slowly- ran through his hair.

_"I will always be here for you"_ The hand began to travel from his head to where he had been twisting a lock of white hair between his fingers, moving to his soft porcelain cheeks (as Nea had described them, whispering it in his ear). Allen stayed as rigid as he could even as the other arm snaked it's way around his waist. He tried to convince himself that the touches and whispers had no effect, that it wasn't actually real. Maintaining a stoic demeanor was difficult though, especially as the nimble fingers began to crawl across his face, curving over his lip and under his chin. From Allen's eyes the fingers appeared as bars to an imaginary cage.

The bars disappeared suddenly causing Allen eyes to widen, and his mouth to relax, parting a fraction. He felt first the warmth of Nea's breath as he pressed his face into the side of his, burying himself in allen hair while his hand traveled to the other side of his face, gently pressing them together. Allen squirmed as his hair and face were squashed into Neas. The hand tensed ever so slightly as a warning though to not move. Allen didn't dare when Nea was like this. Without moving his lips the threat was spoken for the consequences of his resistance. So Allen remained still.

The 14th took in deep breaths as he drowned in Allen's scent and texture. In ….out….in…out, the air flowed like waves, breathing, smelling, nuzzling. It felt like ages as nea held their position, fingers dragging lightly across the bumps of his rib cage.

Allen knew the rest of Nea's body had materialized in this shared plane of consciousness when he felt the hard but slim torso press against his side. The 14th was pressed flush against him from his hips up, pressing in deeper as if trying to swallow him and his essence. The feeling reminded Allen for a moment of when his innocence would envelope him in protection and warmth

…but this wasn't Crown clown and there was no warmth. It wasn't anything really. It was all in his head. A terrifying illusion as piercing and cold as ice.

"_You know that's not really __true__ though Allen"_ The 14th interrupted his thoughts, refocusing his attention to the voice behind him. He emphasized this with a firm squeeze to Allen's hip, adding particular pressure to the protruding bone. This only made Allen renew his attempts to escape the discomfort.

"_If it were…you wouldn't be so afraid right now_." He wasn't afraid. It wasn't real. The 14th had no power here. Not unless Allen allowed it.

_"Don't go lying to yourself now Allen"_ Nea spoke into his ear tantalizingly slow. Most likely to allow his lips to run across the soft curves of his ear lobe for as long as possible.

Allen grit his teeth at this but didn't allow any evidence of his discomfort to show on his face. He couldn't hide it from Nea though and his lips curved up into a smirk as his half lidded eyes roved over his expression. The silver eyes never acknowledged it. His face was a stone stature, staring ahead to no particular destination. Allen was determined not to show his weakness. The lips stretched back into a teethy grin that could no longer be held back. Nea _loved _it when he did this.

Without any warning whatsoever the hand on Allen's face reached back and pulled down on his hair. _Hard. _

The boy let out a sharp cry at the unexpected abuse. Things were not going well this time, He had only managed to excite the demon more. The sharp teeth immediately planted themselves on the white neck which had been newly exposed, with a little yanking. Without biting into the flesh and breaking the skin Nea ran his teeth over the fragile skin, occasionally letting his tongue flick out to sample a little.

It wasn't just the rush to his senses that made Nea wild and uncontrollably fixated on continuing the experience. It was the taste of skin, the smell, the pumping of blood through the arteries and veins, the twitches and shivers – all the wonderful throws of sensation, of being solid and alive. It was enough to make him feel like he had been sent into a drugged up haze. It felt _too good_ to just feel again.

Allen however had had enough at this point. Nea up until now had never actually hurt him, at least physically. All he wanted was to feel another living body….but this was too much. This was twisted and as far as Allen's limit could go. He suddenly lurched forward out of the grip of the demon, but instead of fighting him, Nea had let his own plan work against him slamming the boy forward onto his face. Allen groaned trying to alleviate the pressure on his nose. He should have known it wouldn't work, Nea was too quick to read his thoughts and perceive his plans.

Nea's grip was like a hammer dropped on his head. It was unwavering. Final.

"You know Allen…" The tone had changed. Something in their energies had shifted. The fragile balance, which was about as hard to maintain as balancing a body on an egg shell, had been upset. Allen could feel it in the way the fingers had curved just a little more to allow the nails to dig into his skull.

"Maybe I've given you the wrong impression…"He leaned in a little further so that if allen looked up from where he had turned his cheek to the ground, he would see the trademark golden eyes burning dangerously into his own silver ones as he spoke.

"The only reason you're still here is because you are useful to me." The grip on his hair loosened a little, nails relaxing and no longer digging into his skin. The grip remained strong though and allen thought better of trying to break away from it.

"Without you I can't move around here as easily." Allen could feel him shifting around as he leaned closer to Allen's head. "You're my little puppet" Allen could feel the breath hitting his neck. "I need you to put on a good show for everyone." The breath wasn't warm like one would expect. To allen it was cold and biting on his skin. Nea's slim build was now pressed against Allen's back, curving both their bodies into an arch as Nea's lips trailed down Allen's neck. His hands were now on his shoulders massaging gently, thumbs pressing deep into his shoulder blades.

"However…" Nea's left hand suddenly reached up and held Allen's neck in a death grip. Allen could only gasp and choke as Nea's lips pressed into his ear, whispering "I can make you suffer if need be, you are after all, as fragile as all these dolls you call humanity."

To emphasize his point Nea swiftly stood, dragging Allen along with him, still strangling his neck in a death grip. Allen's instincts told him to struggle and get away from this man, but he could only manage to gasp and choke or try and kick in his direction. Nea then decided to throw him some feet away where Allen collided painfully with the ground. He jostled his shoulder but that was nothing compared to the crack of his head on the ground before he settled on his side.

Allen truly looked and felt at that moment that he was a lifeless doll. The reality of it crashed down on him with greater weight than when Nea had him pinned. He couldn't move at this knowledge, nor from the shock of the impact to the floor.

Allen's mind was at least able to pick up through the haze in his mind the sound of Nea's approaching footsteps. The threat of danger woke up his senses as he struggled to get back on his feet. Before Allen could even turn over Nea's voice came right from behind: "The only one which doesn't belong here is you." Nea's eyes were hidden behind the ruffle of dark hair, but allen could still feel and imagine the tension they held.

Nea suddenly decided to drop his weight down, straddling Allen and immobilizing him. His eyes were visible now, and completely transfixed on Allen's silver orbs. Allen did his best to meet this stoic gaze, even while every drive within him was screaming to turn away, to not look. But Allen was trapped and intoxicated by the depths of those Noah eyes – the deep, deep darkness that was surrounded in a golden ring of perfection and ancient desires.

Nea's hand was now upon his neck again not squeezing, but resting with an unsaid threat. Allen was able to raise his chin just slightly enough to give an impression of haughtiness. His eyes narrowed in defiance as he spoke: "Isn't it strange for someone who doesn't have a body to call me a lifeless doll?"

Allen let the words slide through his lips without fear. Nea wouldn't kill him, he could only cause him pain. He still needed him, and Allen knew his words had hit home for Nea. In terms of pain and humiliation Allen could take anything that Nea threw at him…but he wasn't going to allow him the pleasure of denying his existence. He wouldn't, could not allow Nea to win over him like that.

Allen's Eyes relaxed a bit though as the tension in Nea's face evaporated. His eyes looked empty and a sad smile crept up into that once perfect visage. "Perhaps, but…" Nea's face approached Allen's with a deliberate slowness. He was in no hurry as his words fell over lips like water trickling down. "I still want to feel things". Nea's lips had closed over Allen's before the boy has even realized what was happening. It was firm but soft as Nea leaned in closer, deepening the kiss. It felt as though no separation was left between them. Allen's body was already reacting to the closeness. He felt hot and urgent. At the same time, he couldn't figure out what Nea was playing at. He never thought the touching would go this far. The kiss had thrown him enough that he barely noticed Nea's finger interlace with his right hand. His other hand, he noted, was pinned under Nea's knee.

The kiss lasted and felt as timeless as the space they occupied until Nea finally released him for a moment to breath. As he stared down through half lidded eyes he whispered: "My cute little doll"

As Nea leaned in again to capture unwilling lips, something in Allen snapped. Before he even realized what he was doing, Allen swiped across Nea's face with his left hand. Nea's face remained turned, as if he hadn't realized what had happened. The hand wasn't able to form the claw of his innocence, but his fingernails had left three scratches on Nea's cheek. A little blood trickled down from the deepest scratch. Nea's head slowly turned to allen's, where Allen bore his teeth gritting in outrage. Nea smiled at this display and took the hand that had marred his face. Afraid he would try to tear it off Allen pulled back, yanking hard as Nea brought his hand up to his face. A serence smile took over Nea's face, as his eyes closed and he began rubbing his cheek into Allen's palm. Allen didn't know what to do other than to stare up at this strange, love-sick man with questions in his own eyes.

Nea slowly opened his own, a look of complete calm and satisfaction in his expression. "That's enough for today Allen"

And with that it was over. The darkness was gone; Nea was gone. He was back in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, while Link's breathing could be heard coming from the floor below. Allen wasn't relieved and the frown seemed carved into his lips. He sat up slowly and suddenly became aware of the stinging on his cheek. He raised his arm to his cheek…only to retract it from three burning scratch marks on his cheek. Allen let out a shuddering breath that seemed like the beginnings of a laugh even as the tears began running down his cheeks. As the water ran over his wounds Allen allowed his head to bow and rest in his hands as he longed for the comfort of another's touch to ease him.


End file.
